Ice Hockey / Olympics / Skiing / Winter Olympics / Winter Sports

The best Winter Olympic sports (if they took place in the dark)

For Slate, Justin Peters asked a unique questions: Which Winter Olympics Sports Would Be Better if They Were Done in the Dark? Here are a couple that Justin would “turn the lights off” for:

Biathlon, otherwise known as the original “mash-up,” combines target shooting and cross-country skiing in one very strange and unpopular package. Turn the lights off, though, and biathlon could plausibly become a viral sensation. The trick would be to replace the static targets with exploding targets that would shoot fireworks in the pattern of the athlete’s national flag upon being struck—sort of like one of those gender reveal parties where they detonate tannerite in the woods to announce that it’s a boy. What could go wrong? Verdict: Turn the lights off.

Bobsled would clearly be better in the dark. Decorate the course with futuristic Tron-style lighting strips, paint the sleds in glow-in-the-dark colors, drop a headlight in the nose of the sled, blast some Daft Punk through the arena’s speakers, and you’re good to go. What the sleds might lose in speed they’d gain in cyberpunk aesthetic. Verdict: Turn the lights off. 

I’m down for a Tron-style Olympic event. But, for the same reason he thought alpine skiing in the dark was too dangerous, wouldn’t bobsled be the same at those speeds? Other sports in the list include snowboarding, figure skating, ski jumping, and speed skating.

Coming soon: Which Winter Olympics Sports Would Be Better During the Summer? (kidding)

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